Friday, September 03, 2004
John Kerry's ever expanding tentacles of falsehood: the great ketchup conspiracy
An Indian soldier allegedly faked his claim for a medal by splashing ketchup on civilians and pretending they were rebels he had killed.
Colonel HS Kohli is said to have posed civilian staff as dead militants for photographs he used to back up a claim for gallantry medals.
The colonel, who commanded an artillery regiment, is likely to be dismissed from service following an investigation into the incident.
The Statesman of Calcutta said a court of inquiry had found the officer guilty and he would be asked to leave the army.
The colonel and another officer allegedly splashed ketchup on three civilians employed by the army to forge a photograph which showed the insurgents they had supposedly 'killed'.
They then filed a false report recommending medals for the regiment's soldiers following the incident at Bada Nagadun, near Silchar, in 2003.
The claim was being processed when military intelligence received a letter of complaint which led to an investigation which finally led to his court martial.
So what sinister implement did this fakir, sorry faker,* use to carry out this dastardly plot? Ketchup. And who's wife exactly happens to be a ketchup billionairess? Not George Bush's that's for sure. Only connect!
All of which begs the question as to what exactly is the meaning of the fact that this year's All-Ireland Gaelic Football final is between Kerry and Mayo?
*Just can't resist the puns...
(Via Dick O' Brien)