Dialectical Confusions

So far today I have been mostly examining my soul. Results so far: mostly absence. On the one hand I ponder our radical aloneness within our consciousness*, what Sartre called "abandonment" - the absence of God. Yet while accepting the impossibility of any conception of the soul as "God's presence in man" (or something of the sort), I also am keenly aware of the turmoil possible within one consciousness, seemingly originating in a kind of conflict-like relationship between, on the one side, a longing that demands to be expressed in the soul-metaphor and, on the other, the intellect, the conscious consciousness, the consciousness of which we are conscious.

Well, it is a Saturday!

*See how I have to say "our" here rather than the surely more accurate "my"? In any case this post should clearly be written in German. Anybody understanding it in English is invited to share their enlightenment in the comments section.